A Perfect Fall Day for a Hike
It was October 28, 2023, and late into the fall season for Maine. Life had been busy, and I was afraid I would not get a foliage hike in before that final rainstorm knocked the remaining leaves off the trees and the forest settled in for its winter rest. When I awoke this morning, the weather was as perfect as it could get, bright sun and temps in the low 60’s. I replanned my day and decided to head to my go to spot, Wilson Stream Gorge in Elliotsville, Township.
A Familiar Trail, A Place of Solace
This spot has always been a good friend to me and my children. Within an hour of home, it is a solid three-mile hike with all a Maine trail can offer; a rushing stream, tall pines, several waterfalls, campsites for the through hikers on the Appalachian Trail, protection from the hot sun in summer and more roots than any trail has a right throw in front of you. This trail has always felt like home and offers me a place to clear my head when life gets tough or to spend a few hours with those I care about most. This day was ordinary on the trail, warm sun trying its best to make it through the forest canopy, birds were singing, and the sound of the stream came and went depending on how far the trail led away. The dry leaves under my feet kicked up a scent that can only be described as fall. I was the only one on the trail today. It’s always nice to have the place to myself, although I am never opposed to the brief conversation with others as we pass by one another, or the chance to pet a dog wandering through with its human.
A Deep Reflection
I had little on my mind today other than enjoying my time in these woods and wishing my kids were with me. My oldest child lives in the Pacific Northwest and my youngest child, Savannah, died in a hiking accident in Zion National Park in 2019. Although I miss them both, I deeply grieve Savannah every day.
Today was no different. At one moment on the trail, as I was deep in thought watching the forest floor as I moved along, as most do when hiking, my thoughts were wrapped around Savannah. How she made me laugh, how many times we had been here together, and how very much I missed her.
The Scent of Rosemary
While deep in this thought, I was startled and stopped in my tracks by something unusual. My favorite scent, rosemary. The smell was so thick and intense, it caused alarm inside me. A smell I have never smelled like this unless you reach into your garden, rub a Rosemary bush between your fingers and bring it to your face to enjoy. How could this be? Frozen in my tracks still, my eyes scanned the entire forest looking for where this smell could possibly have come from. Nothing. I looked and looked. My eyes then landed on the brightest form of light high up on the ridge in front of a large rock. As soon as my eyes saw this beautiful sight the scent disappeared.
A Message for my Heart
The light stayed. I stared at that light for a long time. I told that light how very much I missed her and how grateful I was for her visit this day. My heart exploded in my chest and I cried for a long time. The light stayed with me until I was silent and calm and then just left, as she did that day in 2019, disappeared without warning.
The Goodbye
I sat in that spot for a long time after, hoping she would come back. But as fall days do, the light was getting short, as the sun began to set, and I knew I had to go. I finished my walk feeling grateful and heavy at the same time. I wondered if she could visit me like this, why can’t she stay with me all the time? I knew the answer, but I did not like it. Rest in adventure my beautiful girl.
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